Easter

When I was a kid, I used to be scared during the 3 days that led to Easter. Why? Because I thought Jesus wasn’t alive during those 3 days, so the devil could pop up somewhere at any moment. I would get so scared that I didn’t like being in a room by myself and I would never enter an unlit room.

I told this to someone once and they thought it was pretty damn cute.. but actually, it’s not.

It’s actually pretty scary. Not that the devil is scary, but that I feared him more than I thanked, loved, believed in God and Jesus.

Jesus once said that we should have a childlike faith. But the more I think about my childhood faith, the more I see how it wasn’t childlike enough.

Oh the woes of man!

first impressions…

have you ever met someone, and for no reason at all, got a feeling that this person is going to impact your life in some meaningful way?

i wonder…

What I Know…

What I know? What the hell do I know? I understand people are thinking, why is Jennie talking like this? But in actuality, in reality, I think like this. I just serve you my censored thoughts. Shocked? Get over it.

Anyways, things are frustrating me. Like why the hell am I lazy? Why the hell am I complaining about being lazy and not being productive? Things like that. And lately, when I talk on the phone with my mom, it takes a lot for me to hold back my tears. Don’t call me emo. I’m not. I think I’m appreciating them a lot more lately.
You know what I realized. If I were to say to anyone (even my friends and family) that I’m so thankful and sorry to God and I start crying uncontrollably… half of them would think I’m crazy/depressed/strange. But if you think about it… people in the bible used to rip their clothes off and rub themselves with ashes and we read that and think “there’s a man experiencing God”.

Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about this and that. And I had a lot to write, but somewhere between thinking and getting to write here… I lost it. Someone once told me that I would get somewhere, because I was lucky enough to have a chance. And when you hear that coming from the mouth of someone who’s the same age as you, who went to high school with you, who you sat next to in some classes and were well-acquainted with, you begin to feel that it’d be a damn shame if you failed. Cuz at some point you realize, yeah you owe it to God and to your parents who sacrificed all they had to maybe get you a chance at something better, but you owe it to some people who never got a chance. And sometimes it’s because chances were passed up or thrown away, but sometimes people really aren’t given a chance. Cuz who can blame a kid for quitting high school after her dad was hospitalized and her step-mom ran off with all their money, leaving her with hospital bills and a little brother to take care of?

And here I am, fiddling my minutes and my chances by writing on this blog with bad writing. Bad timing, for real.

Delirious. It’s 5:37AM.

Case studies…death

I hate case studies.

Recently, there was a death in the family. Not my immediate family, but a cousin’s grandma. That led me to think about my senior year, second semester. Three people died. My grandpa, a friend’s mom, and a friend’s dad. It’s strange cuz my friend’s mom used to walk me and my friend home from Kindergarten. We carpooled in elementary, she fed me lunch every other day while my mom was working, scolded my friend to let me play Nintendo with him. We went to high school together, our moms were in the KPTA together, we went to hagwon together. Countless rides, countless meals, countless moments. She was always randomly over my place. Then she was gone, kinda sudden.

Anyways, I was thinking about death and about funerals. My funeral. Don’t think I’m being emo. It’s not like it’ll never happen.

I don’t want people to cry, I want lots of flowers, I want to be cremated, and I want Michael Buble’s “Home” playing.

And I want everyone to come wearing superhero costumes HAHAH j/k.

What the?!

I forgot I had a blog and when I come back, everything changed. It’s hard to keep up in a technologized world.

Anyways, I was waiting for the R bus at the usual stop to get to work. I was supposed to take the 8:56 AM bus so I could get to work about 2 minutes late, but I decided to take my time getting out the door and took the one after that. The next bus was supposed to come at 9:16AM, so I stood at the stop starting 9:15AM and waited until 9:20 and it never came. So I took the 51 up, which sucks because the R takes me right in front of the I-House steps and the 51 drops me off at Unit 1. That last uphill block is killer.

Getting on with my story… I get off the 51 and I’m walking b/w Bancroft and Durant on College, guess what I see? I see a man walking a cat on a leash. I know. I was thinking, what the daym? Ok, no I wasn’t. The actual vocabulary was, how odd.

And then right when I reach the corner of Piedmont and Bancroft, I see the R bus pull up 20 steps in front of me in front of I-House. Now I’m thinking, I should have just waited. But then I think, I would have never seen that white man in the red jacket walking his cat.

I’m bored.

In the words of all those Good Morning America people… Good Morning America!

Puppy?

Look at them…

Great Pyrenees puppy :)

Another Great Pyrenees puppy <3

Grown up

White Lab

White Lab puppy :)

Which one should I get?

What’s wrong with me?

I realized that I have lots of bad tendencies. Bad tendencies like watching all these tv shows when I feel like I can’t face my fears. Fears like looking at/into myself. Myself as in the kind of person I am.

The list goes on.

I guess a lot of us are realizing our own bad tendencies. I wish I could fix mine and become a better person/Christian. Christian before person. Christian = person.

Why you do that?

I don’t like comegetused. Or actually, I don’t like the people on comegetused or they don’t like me.

Last year, I bought a book for MC10 and a comegetused girl told me she had the 6th edition. I come home, it’s the 5th edition. So I had to buy the same book twice.

A few days ago, I bought two books from another comegetused girl for MC102. And it so happens that I’m  buying both books from the same seller. I check the edition to make sure I have the right version and buy the books for $40. $40 for two thin books, but that’s not my point. My point is, I walk into the Student Store today and see that buying the two books (used) from the student store would have been cheaper… the Student Store is never cheaper than anywhere else. The Student Store is known to never be cheaper.

Story of my life.

Kids.

I was walking down Sproul today and I see this herd of little kids. As they’re passing a man with a red shirt on, they chant, “Take off that red shirt! Take of that red shirt!” about four times.

Kids can be mean. Hmph!

Berkeley Bowl

I need to take advantage of my proximity to BB. That place.. woww hahaha My mom would love that place. That’s saying a lot, seeing as how she doesn’t like the movies, she doesn’t like amusement parks, she doesn’t like camping. I guess it’s just cuz she’s… old.

I bought lots of different types of granola, dried fruits, and nuts for my mom. She loves the healthy organic stuff. My mom’s the type of person who likes potted plants instead of flowers. She’s all about cultivating. Like she cultivated me. She’s all about baking too, but that’s a whole nother story. I miss her. I don’t think I ever missed her like how I miss her now. I’m usually the type that doesn’t care whether I’m home or at Berks, but this time I care… she needs to bleach my white clothes hahaha but that’s not the only reason I want to see her.

When I go back, I’m going to drive all around the neighborhood. I couldn’t drive around last time because I never really had the car and there was only a little time left before I had to leave. This time, it’s going to be different.. (story of my life).

So for all those people studying for finals, it’s okay. I have two on Friday from 10-2PM straight. Hope that makes you feel better.

Did you know how “goodbye” came to be. It’s a Middle English phrase, meaning it originated from England during the MIddle Ages. It was originally, “God be with ye”. And I guess as time passes, people slur their words and it becomes “God be ye”… “Godbeye”… “Goodbye”. Interesting. So in the words of the Middle English folk, “God be with ye”.

Jenn